I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
