Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
