i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
