Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
