Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
