I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Randomize
