No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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