well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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