you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
