It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
