Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
