It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
