A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
