he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
