grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
there is puke in my bra ... again
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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