I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
