I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
