Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
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