I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
