Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
