We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
