Just mADE A PArabola og urine
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
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