dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
