I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
