Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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