I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
