I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
