the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
