did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
