i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
