with your own penis?
i love accidental penises.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
