There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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