so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
