ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
You can't just leave with hair like that
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
