Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize