my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
