Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
