Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
