Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
