I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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