Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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