guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
How external is "for external use only"?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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