yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I fill condoms, not promises.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Come share oat with me in your robe
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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