Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
