I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
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