Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
