Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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