she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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