Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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