i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
