No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
