You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
