i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
